


You could never hurt me...

by Fabulanon



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, F/M, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Season/Series 04, Series Finale, The Framework Universe (Marvel), Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabulanon/pseuds/Fabulanon
Summary: What if Radcliffe hadn't been there to stop Fitz from shooting Simmons?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This is just a thing I had going through my mind. Everything turned out very well between Fitz and Simmons after they left the framework, but I wondered what would have happened if he'd actually hurt/killed her.
> 
> I'm not actually sure if I really, really want to write and upload it, as it might get very dark very quickly. Maybe I'll orphan it when I'm done, but in the meantime, I'd love to have some suggestions as to where to take this, and how to work this out. And some general feedback on whether you even want me to continue would be nice.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

**Jemma’s POV**

Simmons hears the door open and close behind her, followed by several footsteps. She turns around, just in time to see Fitz walk up to her.

“Fitz…” She says, her voice filled with a strange form of relief, as she takes a few steps towards him. She is met with the sight of him pointing a gun at her.

“You don’t get to say my name…not after everything you’ve done.”  
His voice is cold. Calm, yet angry. His eyes devoid of any love or empathy.

She stops dead in her tracks, before raising her hands slightly. He was pointing a gun at her. Fitz, the love of her life, wanted to see her dead. Her heart ached, and she was trembling slightly, but she didn’t give up. There _had_ to be a way to get through to him. Fitz, _her_ Fitz was still in there, she knew it. She just had to reach him.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” She said quietly.  
She desperately took another few steps towards him, begging for understanding. Begging for mercy. Begging to see even the tiniest glimpse of the man she loved.  
“Aida--she took you from me, and I came here to rescue you.”              

He barely let her finish her sentence.              
“So you  _kill my father_?” His spits out.

Her heart drops. Feelings of guilt overwhelming her. Why was she feeling guilty? His father was a monster. He had abandoned the real Fitz, and poisoned the mind of this one. She knew she had nothing to be sorry for, but somehow, she still felt sorry for the man who was now threatening to kill her. She looks down to the floor, tears coming up in her eyes. She had to say something, _anything_ , but she was lost for words. So instead, he continued.

“Right after he tells me that he loves me, you murder him in cold blood…” He takes a moment of silence, to make sure the impact of his words hit her as hard as possible. _Hurt_ her as much as possible.  
“...as I listen.”

Her hands are trembling as she moves them towards her chest, trying to convince him of her regret and sorrow. But he didn’t even bat an eye. Her voice cracks, and tears are streaming down her face as she can feel the hope of saving her love slipping through her fingers.

“I am  _so_ sorry.” She says, almost pleading. “It was an accident.”

Again, he barely let her finish.           
“Nothing that you’ve done has been an accident!” He suddenly isn’t so calm anymore, as he fully gives into his rage.         
“You want to destroy this world! You want to destroy _me_! You want to destroy the woman that I love.”              

This time it is _her_ interrupting _him_ , as she grows increasingly more desperate.     
“That woman,” she cries, “is lying to you! None of this is real! _She_ ’s not real! Aida’s just a--a robot you and Radcliffe created!”

The Doctor cuts her off again, steadying his shaking hand, so that the gun is properly pointing in her direction again.     
“Her name is Ophelia.” He says. His voice somewhat calmer, but the anger from before clearly still contained within it. Simmons didn’t know what she found worse: Him shouting at her in pure anger, or this calm, yet powerful voice.

“ _Its_ name is Aida--” she insist. She tries to calm down again, but she fails, because just seconds later, she is desperately screaming and pleading again.               
“And stop making excuses for it! Radcliffe and Daisy  _told_ you the truth!”            

He didn’t respond, but he slowly examined her, with a strange look in his eyes. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but it probably involved him killing her.

“Please...Fitz, you have to wake up.” She whispered.

He barely seemed phased by her pleas and tears. He dips his gun to the ground slightly.   
“Get on your knees.”

She hesitates for a moment. Her mind refusing to believe that Fitz was ordering this. He wouldn’t. This wasn’t him. And something inside her still held onto the fact that he, or any version of him, would never hurt her. She shakes her head.          
“No.”

Without flinching, he moves the gun down, and shoots her in the knee carelessly. Simmons hears the gunshot ring through the room, before she is met with a searing pain in her leg. She had thought he was bluffing. But he wasn’t.

Her injured leg couldn’t support her weight anymore, and she sank down to the ground, holding on to her knee, and trying to stop the bleeding. Pain kept shooting up her leg, and a wave of nausea hit her as she tries to resist it. She pulls her face straight, trying to appeal to him one last time. Her heart was still praying for him to wake up, but her mind slowly started to realise the danger she was in. He was going to kill her. She was going to die. Ever since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. she had known that the job was dangerous, and dying was a real possibility. She had made her peace with that. But she’d just never thought it’d be _him._

“Please…” She begs. “You don’t have to do this.”         
She looks up at him. Maybe it was her last attempt to get through to him, or maybe she just wanted to say it one last time before she died, but the words had left her lips before she even thought about it.  
“I love you.”

Fitz stares back, unphased.               
“And you mean nothing to me.”

The words are ringing through her head. It could not be true. She didn’t believe that those words just came from his mouth. They stabbed through her heart like a knife. That pain made the pain in her leg pale in comparison. He moves towards her, before pressing the gun to her head.

“I want to hear you say it.” He says, before spelling it out for her.  
“‘ _I. Am. Nothing. To. You_ ’.”

She stays quiet, refusing to give into his demands. She’d never give up on him like that.

“Say it!” He repeats, his voice filled with anger.

But she just closes her eyes, waiting for the bullet that would kill her. If she couldn’t take him back with her, she didn’t want to return without him either. Better be done with it now.

“Say  _it_!” He demands again, digging the gun further into her head.  
Her heart is beating rapidly in her chest. She’s terrified.

But then, suddenly, he moves the gun away from her. She lets out the deep breath that she didn’t know she was holding, and opened her eyes, confused. Fitz had turned around, and gestured at one of his men to come closer.

“Tie her up. Bring her with us. I’m not done with her yet.”         
Before she could even process, she was punched in her face by the man, and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I forgot to mention this earlier. I don't intend to kill off Simmons. I think I'd be much more interesting to see what would happen if Fitz just hurts her really bad, and how they'd recover from that afterwards.
> 
> EDIT: Many thanks to all the people that have already given me kudos! I'm still working on the next few chapters, but for now, I'll see if I can release a new one every Sunday and Wensday, so you'll know when you can expect more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter will involve graphic torture... 
> 
> I swear: I did NOT know that my mind was capable of this.
> 
> Please be careful if this bothers you. Otherwise, enjoy!

When she woke up, she felt exhausted. Her head was aching, and her knee was still burning with pain from the gunshot wound. She still had her eyes closed and tried to bring up her hands to her head, to her splitting headache. But she couldn’t. She tried to move, but none of her limbs would move. That’s when she felt the straps around them. And when she noticed the hard underground of a table underneath her. And the gag in her mouth.

Her heart jumped, and she opened her eyes, as she kept tugging on the restraints, trying to get loose. Her arms were strapped down to the table beside her, her legs to the other end of the table, and another, bigger belt was strapped across her chest to pin her down.

She looked around the room. She was alone. For now. She closed her eyes, and tried to bring her breath under control, and clear her mind. To find a solution to get out of here. But her mind was racing. Because with the way she was strapped down like this, she didn’t need two PhD’s to figure out what was going to happen…             

Suddenly, the door opened, a strange man entered the room, carrying a closed case around. She didn’t want to know what was in it. Moments later, Fitz entered the room. He stopped beside her, and looked down upon her, scanning the fearful expressions on her face. And she knew he enjoyed it.            

“Did you really think that I was just going to kill you, miss Simmons?”  
He said tauntingly. “No… That would end your suffering way too quickly. Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

The man opened the case and revealed to her what was inside. She’d hoped, _prayed_ that she had been wrong. She looked from the tools back to Fitz, tears streaming down her face, and her eyes begging for mercy, as muffled pleas came from her gagged mouth.           

“Oh, you wanted to say something? Let’s hear it then.”             
He pulled the gag from her mouth and tossed it aside.            

“Please…” She begged. “Don’t do this… I’m begging you.”

Fitz suddenly revealed a syringe he was holding and injected her with the contents. Simmons had a feeling she knew what was in it, but he told her anyway.

“This should keep you with us through the… process. I don’t want you to miss out on a single moment.”

She looked back to the man, who had now picked up a tiny scalpel, as his first choice to torture her with. He walked over to the other side of the table than where Fitz was standing and moved the tiny knife closer to her hand. She knew exactly what he was going to do.

Her heart was racing, and she instinctively tried to pull her hand away, but the straps held it back. Instead, she folded her hand into a fist, hiding her fingers from him, but she knew it was useless.

Fitz spoke up again. “Before we brought you here, I asked you a question. Let me refresh your memory.”                
He took the top of her head and slammed it onto the table forcefully.  
“Say it! ‘ _I Am Nothing To You_.’”

She closed her eyes, refusing. Just moments later, she was forced to let out a scream, as the man had forced apart her fingers, and jammed the knife under her fingernail. It was the worst pain she’d ever felt and was terrified to realise that they’d only just started. When he pulled it out, the pain receded at bit, and left her hand in a throbbing pain.

“Please…” She sobbed silently, looking back at Fitz, begging for mercy.

He turned around and sat down on a comfortable sofa on the other side of the room. He was making himself _comfortable_. And he was just going to _watch_ as she was being tortured. And he was going to _enjoy_ it.           

“Continue.” He told the man.            
He moved over to the next finger, pushing the scalpel even deeper this time.

“Nooooo.” She cried out. 

The man continued to apply this process to every finger on both hands, leaving her with a few seconds in between to catch her breath. Soon, the room was filled with the alternating sounds of her screams, and her quiet sobbing and pleas.           

When the man was done with her fingers, there was a slight pause. For the first moment, Simmons had been relieved. They were done with that torture technique now. It was over. But the man just walked back to the tools and picked out the next one.           

“Why don’t you try that one?” The Doctor suggested. _Suggested_!

Her abuser gave a little grin, and picked up another knife, slightly bigger than the last one. She wondered what he was going to do with it, until he had walked back to her, and jammed it into her leg. One of her kneecaps had already been shattered when Fitz had shot her, and now this. She might never walk again…

He dragged the knife through her flesh, leaving a giant slash in her leg, as she continued to scream out. A pool of blood was forming on the table, colouring it red.

When he was satisfied, the man just left it there, and moved back to the table for the next object.              

“No…. please… stop…” Simmons begged, her voice already sore with screams.

Most of the objects they used on her for the first few hours were just different sizes of knives. At least… she thought it were the first few hours. She had no way to tell the time or know for how long they’d been hurting her. She only knew that they never stopped.

After a while, Fitz had apparently grown tired of her screams. He walked up to her and returned the gag to her mouth.

“I’ve got some other things to do. Just continue, I’ll be back again to check in on your progress in two days. Make her suffer.”

As he left the room, his words kept ringing through Simmons’ head. _Two days_? They were going to keep hurting her for _two days_? The next time a knife was forced into her flesh, she barely even screamed, as her mind tried to wrap itself around the horror of what she’d just heard…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me.


	3. Chapter 3

They didn’t let her sleep. She was tortured round the clock, and the men who took a break immediately got swapped out by another one. She’d stopped counting them.

“Stop… please…. It hurts so much, please make it stop…” She cried. But no one ever responded.

Occasionally, her pain and exhaustion gave in, and either she fell asleep, or she passed out. But they didn’t let her sleep. They _never_ let her sleep. As soon as she’d drifted off, they’d throw a bucket of ice water over her, or shock her with a taser to wake her up, leaving her in a constant state of agony.

When the two days had passed, and Fitz finally returned, she was barely even still alive. She was starving, dehydrated, exhausted, and her body was in worse pain than she’d thought possible. There were cuts and bruises all over her body, all her fingers were broken, and some even cut off, she was missing an eye, had more broken bones than she could count, and had several third-degree burns from where they’d used the blowtorch on her. The only place left untouched was her stomach, for some weird reason.

“How’s the subversive doing?” The Doctor asked coldly, while glancing at her from the corner of his eye. He didn’t seem to care. He didn’t seem completely revolted by how she looked right now. He was a monster.

“Stopped resisting a while back. It looks like she lost all her fire. She almost died a while back, but we managed to stitch up that particular wound and keep going a while longer.”

Fitz nodded approvingly, before walking up to Simmons. He pulled the gag from her mouth again.

“Anything you’d like to say to me?” He asked coldly.

She blinked back tears, and with her sore, crooked up voice said. “I love you…”

She was met with a punch to the face, which cracked her lip and had blood spilling down from her nose.               
Fitz then turned around and nodded to the man.  
“Bring it in. Let’s end this.”

A while later, the man returned with a metal rod, glowing red-hot and having the air around it tremble by the heat. He passed it over to Fitz, who was still standing over Simmons. She gulped, before looking back at him.

“You don’t have to do this… I’d do anything for you. I love you…”

She was barely able to finish her last sentence when Fitz pressed the metal rod to her stomach, the only place she wasn’t hurt yet. Apparently, this was why.

She closed her eyes and let out a deafening scream she didn’t know she had in her anymore, as the pain completely engulfed her. It didn’t stop, or recede in any way, and she just continued to scream. How long was he going to keep it there?

She opened her eyes slightly, and saw that he’d already removed it, and was holding it next to her again. She glanced down to her stomach, to the angry burn that the metal had left there, which continued to hurt immensely.

“I’m just going to repeat the question, miss Simmons. I have all day.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No…” She answered.

He pressed the rod to her skin again, leaving another excruciatingly painful burn.

This pattern repeated for a while. He would ask her, she’d refuse, and he’d hurt her. After a while, Fitz became even more cruel, and forced her to count along with him how many times he pressed the rod into her skin. They were at 17 times when she finally broke.

“ _What are you_?” Fitz demanded of her, already preparing to hurt her gain.

“Nothing!” She screamed. _Pleaded_. “I am _nothing_. I am nothing to you.” She started crying uncontrollably.

Fitz however, seemed satisfied, as he disposed of the rod in a bucket of icy water. It sizzled, and half of the water immediately evaporated. Then he turned back to her, and brought his hand to her face, before turning it towards him. He started questioning her again, intoxicated by the power he had over her.

“Say it again.”       
“I am nothing to you.”        
“Who am I?”         
“The Doctor. You’re Hydra.”             
“Who do I love?”  
“Ophelia. Madame Hydra.”               
“And who are you?”            
“I am no one. I am nothing.”             
“Do you love me?”

She took a moment of silence. Fitz reached for a knife again, before she finally answered.

“No… I don’t love you. You are the Doctor, you are with Madam Hydra. I am nothing…” She cried, almost pleading.

Fitz put down the knife again, satisfied.

“I knew you could be trained. You are nothing. You are weak. How could any version of me ever love someone like you?” He taunted.

“You don’t. You don’t love me, and I don’t love you. I am nothing.” She repeated the words over and over again. She had clearly started to believe them.

Fitz was silent for a moment, nodding approvingly. But then he turned back to face his man.          
“I’m done with her. Finish her off, and have the remains displayed somewhere. I want everyone to see what happens to subversives. Don’t feel the need to make it a quick end, though.”

And he left the room, leaving Simmons’ screams to vanish behind him in the distance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fitz’s POV**

He walked through the halls of the Hydra base, filled with joy. He had done it. He had broken the subversive woman that had caused all this trouble. Anyone could be tamed, he knew that, but for some reason he had thought that this one would’ve taken a lot longer to condition.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, his vision went black. There was a moment of just ‘nothing’, before his field of vision was filled with computer code. Moments later, there was a bright light, and he was returned to the real world again. The _real_ world.

His knees could barely support his weight as he fell forwards. Two realities crashed into one, and for a moment, he could not distinguish between what was real and what wasn’t. His mind went completely blank.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He had no idea where he was, or _who_ he was, and he flinched back from the unexpected touch.

It’s okay.” Coulson told him. “We’re back. Everybody’s safe.”

Fitz was trembling. His mind fogged up with all the contradicting memories. And then suddenly, they were clear.

No…

No….

NO!

Jemma…

The sight of her mangled body came back into his mind. The first time he actually saw it, he wasn’t even phased by it, but now…

Jemma… _His_ Jemma.

Nonononononono….

She was in pain. She was hurt. And it was _his_ fault. _He_ had done it!

“No…. Simmons….” He stuttered quietly. He was trembling. The sight of her injuries, and the sound of her screams and pleas haunting him. And then he suddenly remembered what he’d said before leaving.

_“I’m done with her. Finish her off, and have the remains displayed somewhere. I want everyone to see what happens to subversives. Don’t feel the need to make it a quick end, though.”_

“Jemma….” He stuttered, as a wave of nausea hit over him. He felt like he was going to throw up, but his stomach was empty. He suddenly jumped up and walked back to the machinery. “Take me back!” He ordered.

Daisy just looked at him confused. “Don’t be ridiculous, Fitz. It took us days to figure out your location and find a way to get you out from the outside.”

But he interrupted her. “No… No… you don’t understand. Jemma… She…” He couldn’t even say it. His knees gave out under him, and he collapsed to the ground, bursting into tears.

Daisy got up. “I’m going to get her out, Fitz. We just wanted to get to you first, but I’m going there right now to get her out, okay?” She gave his shoulder a little squeeze, before running off.

Coulson looked at Fitz, confused, and horrified. “Fitz… What happened? What did he do?”

But his voice had completely stopped working. He couldn’t explain any further. It was too much.

“Whatever happened, Fitz, don’t blame yourself,” Coulson moved forwards and grabbed both his shoulders, steadying him. “The Framework messed with all of our heads. That wasn’t you in there.”

“No… No… I… I… killed… I hurt…” He couldn’t breathe. Simmons was alive when he last saw her. But would Daisy be in time to get her out? He couldn’t even bear to think what he’d do if…

“They weren’t real.” Coulson’s reassured him. But Fitz knew that he was wrong.

“Agnes was real! And Mace, and… and….” He didn’t even dare to say her name out loud. 

“Fitz, it’s okay, everything is alright. Everyone is out. You were in a bit longer, but you’re out now, and so is Simmons. We already took care of Aida. It’s over. Everything is going to be okay.” May suddenly cut in.

Suddenly they heard screams coming from the direction that Daisy had left. They stopped just as suddenly, but they all had recognised them. Simmons. Fitz felt his heart drop but was relieved at the same time. _She was alive_.

They rushed back to the Zephyr, and found Simmons on a bed, unconscious, and Daisy clearing up the mess beside it. When she saw Fitz, her eyes widened.

“Fitz… is there something you’d like to tell us? What happened in there? She completely freaked out! Started screaming and throwing things. I had to sedate her!”

Fitz’s knees were barely able to support his own weight again, as he looked at Simmons. She almost looked peaceful, in the way she was quietly sleeping. Her injuries from the framework hadn’t been brought over to this world, so physically, she was going to be fine. Mentally however, that was going to be a very different story…

Part of him wanted to rush over to her. To wrap his arms around her, and comfort her, but his body held back. He didn’t deserve to go near her. _He_ had done this… _He_ had hurt her. How would she react if she woke up and saw him?

“Fitz?” Someone suddenly asked. He didn’t even know who had said it, but he was jerked out of his thoughts. “Please talk to us. You don’t have to be ashamed of anything, that wasn’t really _you_ in there. But we _need_ to know what happened.”

Fitz looked at Daisy, the one who had asked the question, and he lowered himself into a chair, bringing his hands to his face.

“I… He… They… He… He tortured her… For days on end. She was in _so_ much pain…” He stuttered.

The rest of the team looked at him, shocked.

“How bad was it?” May asked carefully, interrupting Fitz’s crying.

“There was blood everywhere… And the screams… She was screaming, and pleading, and begging, and I just… I just… _sat there_! And I… _watched_!”

He suddenly felt a pair of arms around him. “Calm down. It’s okay. She’s out now. You both are. And she’s going to be just fine, you understand? Go get some sleep, you must be exhausted.” Daisy said quietly. “We will take care of Simmons. Don’t worry about it.”

Fitz nodded, and left the room, after casting one last look at Simmons. Despite Daisy’s kind words, he didn’t know if things would ever be the same again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, and a happy new year to everyone!! (Yes, I know it's late). I hope everyone had a nice time with friends, family, or other loved ones!
> 
> I also want to thank all of your guys for your support. I'm not going to deny that I was pretty nervous about uploading this at first, since it got so dark. I'm kind of shy...
> 
> But all your kudo's and comments have really helped me to feel more comfortable with this, and motivated me to keep writing. If you have any suggestions for future chapters, or other 'what if?' scenario's you'd like me to explore (though I must warn you that I haven't seen season 5, since it hasn't aired over here. I know, it's horrible!), please leave those in the comments, and I'll see what I can do!

**Jemma’s POV**

When she woke up, she immediately sat up, ready to fight anyone who would try to hurt her. Her mind was foggy, and she had no idea where she was. She wasn’t lying on a cold metal table anymore, but a soft bed, and she wasn’t tied down. She got up from the bed and wanted to get away from this place as far as possible, while she barely even registered her surroundings.

She rushed to the door, and tried to pull I open, but it wouldn’t budge. She was locked in.

No…

Nonononononono…

Not  _again_ …

She started slamming her hand against the door, but felt her strength fading when she realised that she wouldn’t be able to get out.

No one was going to save her…

Everyone had forgotten about her…

She was  _nothing._

She slid down against the door, and curled herself into a tiny ball, as she started sobbing quietly.

She was  _nothing_ …

Suddenly, she felt a pair of hands slowly pull her away from the door before they wrapped their arms around her.

She panicked. Her instincts made her flinch, as she tried to pull away, but then she heard a soothing voice whispering in her ear.

“Jemma… Jemma… It’s okay. You’re safe now. Calm down.”

It took her a moment to figure out whose voice it was, she pulled back slightly, to look at the person who was holding her, while her vision slowly got into focus.

Daisy.

She looked around at her surroundings. She was in the lab of the S.H.I.E.L.D. base. Home.

This  _was_  home right?

Her mind suddenly fogged over again, as visions of the framework found their way back into her head. The blood. The pain. The torture…

Her breath quickened, but Daisy just kept holding her, and tried whatever she could to calm her down.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s over. You’re safe here. Everyone is okay. You’re not in the framework anymore, you’re home…”

Everything in her mind was blurry. She didn’t know what was real, and what wasn’t. All she remembered was pain. Excruciating pain. But slowly, Daisy’s words made her remember what had happened.

She was Agent Jemma Simmons of S.H.I.E.L.D. They had gone into a place called the framework, to rescue their friends. None of that was real.  _This_ was. And this woman, Daisy, was her friend. She was safe.

She finally calmed down and managed to speak. Her voice was still slightly crooked up from the sedatives, but she managed to ask, “What happened?”

Daisy let go of her but put one hand on her shoulder. “You were trapped in the framework. It took us a while, but we finally managed to get you out from the outside. You kind of freaked out when you just woke up, so we had to sedate you. But you’re safe now. Are you okay?”

Simmons quickly nodded. “I… I think so…”

“Do you want to tell me what happened in the framework?”

Simmons suddenly started to cry, and Daisy wrapped her arms around her again. “Daisy… it was horrible… It hurt  _so_  much… Please don’t let them hurt me again. I’m scared…”

**Daisy’s POV**

Daisy continued to hug her, and soothingly rubbed her back to comfort her. They had known each other for so long, but now she barely recognised her friend. Simmons had always been one of the bravest people she knew. She had faced death so many times since she knew her, and always managed to move on afterwards… But she was showing none of that now. All that was left was this tiny, terrified ball of fear and pain. Completely traumatised.

“It’s okay Jemma.” She said again. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to say. Just get some sleep-”

But once she tried to let go of her, to get her back to bed, Simmons suddenly let out another scream, refusing to let go.

“No! Don’t go… don’t leave me… please… I’m scared. They’ll come back. They want to hurt me…” And she kept sobbing on Daisy’s shoulder, wetting her shirt.

Daisy tried to push her away again. “It’s okay. No one is going to hurt you. You’re safe. We’re all friends in here.” But when this didn’t seem to calm Simmons down all that much, she added: “I’m not going anywhere. Just go to sleep. I’ll watch over you. I’ll protect you if they come back, okay? You’re not going to be alone.”

Simmons’ breathing slowed down again, and she looked at her with tears still in her eyes. She nodded slowly, before she lowered herself onto the floor, and closed her eyes. She was exhausted.

Daisy still had her arms wrapped around her protectively, and she leaned back against the wall to make herself comfortable. She continued to whisper calming affirmations as Simmons slowly drifted back to sleep.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.  
> I'm sorry, but this chapter is going to be slightly shorter. However, the next one is going to be A LOT (Both in length, and emotional impact), so I promise I'll make up for it ;)

**General POV**

After a couple of days, Simmons finally left the room for the first time. She slowly got better, as her memories slowly returned, and she started to recognise her friends and the base again. After a couple of days, it seemed like she was just the way she had always been.

On the surface.

The team had agreed to not speak to her about what had happened and help her in her recovery. But it was harder than it seemed, as she had been visibly scarred by the experience. She would completely freak out on the sight of fire or knives and had frequent panic attacks. You could barely even approach her from behind, or touch her without her completely panicking. She’d drop down to the ground, where she sat cowering, rambling on and on about how she was nothing.

Moreover, she had immense trouble sleeping, as she was haunted by nightmares. Usually, she could only sleep peacefully if there was someone else in the room, to watch over her.

And Simmons wasn’t the only one who was struggling with the trauma. Fitz had completely locked himself away, and barely left his room. He too was haunted by nightmares but refused to accept any help or comfort from his team members.

**Fitz’s POV**

He was sitting alone in his room, like he had been for the past week. Ever since they had left the framework, he had felt horrible. He couldn’t leave his room. He couldn’t face his team members. He couldn’t face  _her_.  _He_ did all those things. He had  _killed_. He had  _tortured_ …

Every so often, someone would enter the room to pass him something to eat. They always tried to comfort him, and talk to him, but he couldn’t bear to say anything back. Or even look them in the eye.

“Hey Turbo… How’re you holding up?” Mack asked him.

Fitz felt some tears rise to the surface and turned his head away.

“How d’you do it?” He asked quietly.

“What do you mean, Fitz?”

“How can you just come here and talk to me like nothing happened. After everything I’ve done… I don’t deserve this, you guys  _have_ to lock me up. I’m dangerous.”

Mack stood there for a while, silent. “You’re not a monster. You’re one of my best friends. And you need time to process, we all understand that. Things have been rough for everybody, even me, with losing Hope..." He was silent for a moment. "But we  _need_  you.”

Fitz wiped away a couple of tears. “How’s Jemma?”

“She’s mostly fine. She’s still struggling with nightmares, but she’s slowly getting better. She’s starting to remember everything about S.H.I.E.L.D., the base, the team… You know her better than I do, Turbo. You should know that she’s a fighter. She’ll be just fine.”

Fitz nodded silently. Mack just gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and left the room, leaving Fitz’s dinner behind on the table.

But Fitz didn’t feel hungry. They kept telling him that he wasn’t to blame. That it wasn’t really him who’d done all those things. But he knew they were wrong. Aida had just changed a few things in his past but did nothing to his personality. That could only mean that, even though it remained dormant in  _this_  reality, being a ruthless psychopath was a  _part_  of him.

And he needed to protect the ones he loved from that.

**Jemma’s POV**

She was standing in the lab, just working on a couple of assignments that Coulson had given her. It had been 12 days since she got out the framework, and she was gradually getting better. Though she was still troubled by visions and nightmares, she hadn’t wanted to just sit around and rest anymore. So, after begging Coulson to get her back into active duty, he had given her some simple things to keep her occupied.

She hears the door open and close behind her, followed by footsteps. The footsteps stop suddenly, not far behind her, and she turns around to greet the newcomer. She freezes.

“Hey Jemma…”

It took her a moment to process. He looked different. Instead of the usual expensive suits he used to wear, his clothing was much more casual now, and his hair a little messy. But she could still easily recognise him.  _The Doctor_.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited confrontation between Fitz and Simmons is finally here! I hope it doesn't disappoint ;)  
> Plenty of angst coming up!

**Fitz’s POV**

It had been 12 days since the framework, and Fitz had finally mustered up the courage to face his girlfriend. He had continued to ask the team of how she was doing and was relieved to hear that she was mostly fine. But he had to talk to her. And see how things would continue from here.

But a weird look went over her eyes. She just stood there for a while, frozen, as her eyes slowly examined him. She barely even seemed to recognise him…

**Jemma’s POV**

It was  _him_. It was  _the Doctor_! He’d come back for her. How was he here?  _Why_ was he here, and not locked up? Did the team know?

She felt her breath quicken, as her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She stumbled backwards, further away from him, until she felt a table behind her, and could not go any further. Tears sprung to her eyes, as her mind was flooded with memories.

Memories of  _his_  face, smiling, as  _she_  was in terrible agony…

Instinctively, her hand scanned the objects that were lying on the table, while not letting her gaze off the man who’d tortured her. She barely even dared to blink. Her hand was looking for something,  _anything_  she could defend herself with, but the sharpest object she could find was a mere pencil…

**Fitz’s POV**

His heart dropped. Everyone had told him that she was fine. But this did  _not_  look like she was  _fine_! He hadn’t even said anything, and now she was completely panicking. Terrified.

_He_  had done this to her…

“Jemma…” He said quietly, as he slowly put his hands in the air to show that he meant her no harm. “It’s me, Fitz… We’re friends, remember?”

He slowly raised his hands, to show her that he was unarmed.

**Jemma’s POV**

What was he talking about? Since when did he call her by her first name? He seemed kind… genuine, even… But it couldn’t be…

“Get away from me!” She demanded, tears streaming down her face, and her hand trembling as she held the pencil in front of her. She knew it was ridiculous. That pencil wouldn’t be able to protect her, but at least it was  _something_.

He wouldn’t hurt her. Not  _again_.

She’d rather have him kill her and be done with it.

**Fitz’s POV**

No…

No…

NO!

This couldn’t be happening… This couldn’t be Jemma,  _his_  Jemma, being absolutely terrified of him…

He would never hurt her…

He couldn’t

Because he loved her…

“Jemma, please… put down the pencil…”

**Jemma’s POV**

What was he doing? What kind of sick  _game_  was he playing? Was he trying to gain her trust? To have her let her guard down, so he could kidnap her again? And  _torture_  her again?

She was shaking, and her vision became slightly blurry from hyperventilating. But she stayed upright, running on pure adrenaline. It was exhausting, but she couldn’t give in now. Because she knew what would happen if she did…

"What do you want?" She asked with a choked up voice. "Are you... Are you here to take me again? Please... Don't hurt me. Don't take me back there..."

The man closed his eyes thinking. “I'm so,  _so_ sorry, Jemma…” he spoke again. “But please… I’m not going to hurt you… I’d  _never_  hurt you…  _I love you_.”

The words seared through her head.

No…

No…

That was what  _she_ ’d told  _him_. And every time she’d spoken those words, she’d been met with excruciating pain immediately afterwards.

That had to be why he said it: To trick  _her_  into saying it as well, so that he could hurt her again. But she wouldn’t fall for it. She wasn’t going to say it…

She  _couldn’t_  say it…

Because it wasn’t  _true_.

“No… stop…” She begged. “You’re messing with my head!”

She kept staring at the man, and noticed tears forming in his eyes.

He was a good actor, she’d give him that.

**Fitz’s POV**

It was his worst nightmare. He had flat-out  _told_  her that he loved her, and she didn’t believe him. She didn’t even  _remember_  him. All she saw was the doctor.

He had to get through to her. This wasn’t getting them anywhere. He slowly took a few steps forwards, careful as to not seem too threatening.

He could see her flinch with every step he took and seemed to be willing herself to phase through the table that was holding her back.

And then, when he was just a couple of feet in front of her, she suddenly dropped the pencil and got to her knees, bowing down her head submissively…

**Jemma’s POV**

He was coming closer…

She tried to move further back away from him, but the table was holding her back. She was trapped.

She couldn’t do anything but  _watch_  as he slowly got closer. Step… after step… after step…

She could feel her knees buckle under her weight, and her shaking hand could barely hold onto the pencil anymore. What did she plan to do with it anyway? There was no way he could fight him.

And then she finally gave into her exhaustion and sank down to the ground. Tears were streaming down her face, as she took one last attempt to protect herself.

**Fitz’s POV**

“Please…” He heard her say quietly. “Please… don’t hurt me… I’ll do anything.”

He stopped, and looked down at her, stunned. He had known her for so long, and they had been through so much together. He remembered all the times she had been hurt, or almost died, and she never,  _ever,_  gave up. She was one of the strongest, bravest people he knew. And he loved her for it.

But now… There was nothing left. All her fire had flickered out, and all he saw was her sitting on the floor, kneeling before him, begging for mercy. Offering to do whatever he told her to, just to spare herself that extra pain.

What. The. Hell. Had. He. Done. To. Her?

Still holding his hands in the air, he slowly lowered himself to her level, squatting in front of her.

“Jemma… It’s okay. I won’t hurt you, I just want to talk.  _I love you_ ”

But to his horror, she just brought her hands to her hair, and shook her head, trying to dismiss what he’d said.

“No! NO! I am nothing!” She screamed.  _Pleaded_. “I am  _nothing_. I am nothing to you.” She continued to cry uncontrollably. “You are the Doctor. You’re second in command at Hydra, and you’re in love with Ophelia. With Madame Hydra. I am no one. I am nothing.”

She continued to ramble on and on, repeating the same words over and over again, like it was some kind of chant that would protect her. He could only wonder if she kept repeating the words to  _him_  or to  _herself_.

“Jemma, please…  _I love you._ ” He repeated. He didn’t know what else to do. What else to  _say_. Maybe if he repeated it often enough, she’d believe him.

“No… you don’t love me. And I don’t love you. You are the Doctor, you are with Madam Hydra. I am nothing…” She cried. “I’ll do whatever you say. Please… don’t hurt me.”

A wave of nausea hit his stomach. He had  _conditioned_  her. He had  _trained_  her. He had completely broken her down…

**Jemma’s POV**

She kept repeating the words that he had forced her to say countless times, again and again. Maybe she could convince him that she believed them. If that satisfied him, maybe he’d leave her alone.

But then suddenly the door opened again, and May rushed into the room.

“I heard screaming, what’s going on?”

The Doctor turned around to face her, and Simmons took advantage of the situation to move further back, hiding under the table.

“He’s here! The Doctor is here!” She screamed, hoping that agent May would help her.

To her horror, she saw that May didn’t make any move to apprehend him.

“Fitz, get out of here. I’ll take care of her. Give it time.” She said as she pulled him up by his arm. And then she let him leave.  _She let him leave_!

When they were alone again, she squatted down besides the table, and held out her hand to Simmons. Hesitantly, she took it. She was on  _her_ side, right?

“What… why… why did you let him  _go_? He’s the Doctor! He’s with Hydra! He’s going to kill me!” Her breathing quickened again, and May put her hands on her shoulders.

“It’s okay. Calm down. No one is going to hurt you. Especially not him. Don’t you remember? That was Fitz. You two were inseparable. The Doctor is gone, Simmons. You’re safe.”

Memories kept flowing through her head. She managed to recall some vague images of them being together, but every single one was immediately overshadowed by the haunting image of his face, smiling, as they were hurting her.

“Why don’t you just go back to your room?” May asked suddenly. Get some rest. It looks like you need it.”

By the look on her face, Simmons knew that she meant it. So, with still trembling knees, she let her escort her back to her room.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! This upload will be a bit earlier, since tomorrow is my sister's birthday, and I won't have any time. I hope you like it!

**Fitz’s POV**

Fitz didn’t even dare to go near her again. He had been so shocked by her reaction, the fearful look on her face haunted him. He didn’t deserve to go near her. To talk to her, or touch her… So instead, he just watched from a distance, as she was working in the lab.

And he missed her with all his heart…

**Jemma’s POV**

After her encounter with the doctor last week, she’d calmed down a bit. She knew that the team would do anything to protect her, and that she was perfectly safe. Moreover, she hadn’t seen the man again since that day.

Nevertheless, her mind kept drifting back to their confrontation. He had seemed so sincere… Like he really didn’t want to hurt her…

But of course, he did. He had tortured her for days on end, just for his own enjoyment. It had to be a trick. Everything he had said were lies.

But what about her memories? Sometimes she would remember things about that man from a different perspective. They’d be laughing… Kissing… Even more…

Where did those memories come from?

**Fitz’s POV**

He was standing in the hallway, next to the lab. Through the glass door, he could just see Simmons with her back to him. It felt wrong, watching her like this, but he couldn’t help it. Anytime he walked past the lab, and she was in there, he’d stop for a while, his soul reaching out for every bit of contact it could get. But he could never approach. Ever.

Yet today was one of those days that he had to…

**Jemma’s POV**

She was lost in thought, as memories flooded her mind again. Flashbacks from those horrible days she was strapped to that table… She felt her knees give out underneath her and managed to catch herself on the table to steady herself.

Deep breaths… it’s okay… it’s just a memory…

But she panicked even more when she saw the fire…

**Fitz’s POV**

NO!

As she’d steadied herself on the table, she’d knocked over a container of sodium, and a glass of water. She’d always been the one specialized in chemistry, not him, but water and sodium made a bad combination. He knew that much.

The two substances reacted to each other, and Fitz watched as the sodium started to sizzle, and ignited.

And she just stood there. Frozen. Terrified of fire ever since her trauma…

It was going to explode!

 Without hesitation, Fitz rushed into the room, grabbed her arm, and pulled her away, before quickly picking up the chunk of metal with his bare hand, and disposing of it in another container of oil. The sizzling stopped, and he felt a wave of relief washing over him.

Then pain.

**Jemma’s POV**

It took her a moment before she got out of a trance-like state and realised what had happened.

Fire.

Then someone pulling her away

Then silence.

Her vision got back into focus, and she immediately recognised the man that had saved her.

The _doctor_.

Her heart jumped, and she instinctively took a step back. But then she saw him flinch, and her gaze drifted off to his hand, burned and bloodied.

She felt an internal struggle. Half of her wanted to run away and hide, but the other half couldn’t help but feel thankful for the man that had saved her. And now he was hurt.

Whomever he was, whatever he’d done, she could not find it in her heart to leave him alone when he was in pain…

**Fitz’s POV**

His hand was hurting immensely, and he knew why. Sodium reacted very strongly with water, so it always had to be kept in containers with oil. Moreover, one should never pick it up with bare hands since it could even react with the water in the skin and leave very painful burns.

He found a piece of cloth and tried to wipe away the blood and bandage it, but it was hard with only one hand.

And then suddenly he felt two small, soft hands on his wrists.

“Please… allow me…” Simmons said quietly.

He turned his head to look at her. To be honest, he hadn’t even paid that much attention to her anymore, since he’d assumed she had left at the earliest convenience. But she was here, and she wanted to help him.

She took the cloth from him, and gently treated the wound before bandaging it.

For a couple of minutes, they just stood there in silence, as she treated his hand with trembling hands, and refused to look up at him. While he just couldn’t help but stare at her, dumbstruck, and almost forgetting about the pain. _Almost_.

He flinched back when she poured some alcohol onto the wound to disinfect it. She froze, but didn’t let go of his hand, and continued.

“Sorry…” She said nervously.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” And then more silence.

Until she broke it.

“Why’d you do that?” She asked carefully.

He didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry?”

She took a deep breath, and he noticed that she was still trembling. So she _was_ still afraid of him.

“That thing was going to explode… but you saved me… Why?”

He rested his non-injured hand on hers as she was finishing up the bandage.

“Because I love you…”

She flinched back at the words, like he knew she would, but she didn’t run away. She looked confused. Torn. Unsure of what to do.

She still couldn’t look him in the eye, but she carefully asked. “Sometimes… I get these memories… Of _us_ … Like we used to be close… friends even… maybe lovers… Why do I have those?” She bit her lip, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

He was completely taken aback by the question but felt relief at the same time. So she _did_ remember him. Maybe not all was lost.

He wiped her tear away with his thumb, as he stared in her eyes. He could feel that she was still trembling, and her muscles were tensed, ready to run away at any time. But for now, she leaned into his touch, as she remembered the comfort that it used to give her.

He wanted to kiss her, but he held back. Best not to push it too much. So instead, he just answered her question as truthfully as he could.

“Because I _do_ love you. And you used to love _me_. I’d do anything for you, Jemma. I _have_ done anything for you. I crossed the universe for you, remember?”

She stared back into his eyes. He could still see the confusion, and how her mind was trying to sort out the memories of _him_ and his evil alter ego. But then she slowly nodded. “Yeah… I… I think I do…”

She was still trembling, but she closed her eyes and leaned in. And Fitz couldn’t help but do the same.

As her lips met his’, he could feel her relax, and he carefully moved his arms around her. No too tight, he didn’t want her to feel trapped.

When the kiss broke, she gently leaned his forehead to his’.

“Fitz…?” She asked quietly, as a careful smile formed onto her face.

He just continued to stroke her cheek. “Yeah… it’s me… You don’t have to worry about anything. I’d never hurt you, Jemma. I love you.”

**Jemma’s POV**

Those words were unexpected. She wasn’t ready for that. Even though she remembered her love for him, her instincts still made her flinch back from him. She’d been forced to say that she didn’t love him, over and over again.

She wanted to say that she did. She really did. But she couldn’t. The words just wouldn’t leave her lips.

She flicked her eyes back to the ground and took a step back. She turned around and brought her hand to her hair.

“I… I… I don’t… It’s…” She stuttered. She felt tears welling up. She turned back around to face him, and the shocked expression on his face cut through her like a knife. “I’m... I’m sorry… I can’t do this. Just… Just give me a minute…”

Without saying another word, she rushed back to her room. And she had just closed the door behind her when she burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chemistry lesson on the redox reaction between sodium and water. I'm a nerd ;)
> 
> For those who are wondering: Yes, this is actually how that works. My chemistry teacher once showed it, and trust me, it gives a loud bang. The metal should always be kept in a container of oil, to avoid contact with even the tiniest bit of water. And if you pick it up bare-handed, yes, it will burn your hand.
> 
> Chemistry lesson over. Forgive me for nerding out ;)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think I'll upload 2 chapters today, since I don't think this one is long and good enough on its own. Enjoy!

**Fitz’s POV**

He was left alone in the lab, stunned. He was unsure of what had happened.

One moment she was in danger.

Then she was scared.

Then they were kissing.

And then she’d suddenly ran off.

He felt like the wind was knocked out of him, and he had to steady himself on a table.

“Hey Turbo, you alright?”

He looked up, and saw Mack approaching, before he put a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah… I’m fine...”

Mack gestured to his bandaged hand. “Are you sure about that?”

Fitz sighed.

“Simmons was here. She just left…”

“Wait, you talked to her? What happened? Are you both okay?”

Fitz nodded. “Yeah… I… I think so…”

He quickly explained what had happened.

“Wow… Fitz… That’s rough… I’m sorry. But think of it this way: it sounds like she remembers you. Even if just a little bit.”

Fitz just nodded as he felt a tear move down his cheek. He felt like he should be happy. This was progress. And they kissed!

But if she remembered him, why did she run away so quickly?

“If she remembers me, then why’d she run off?”

Mack was silent for a while. “I know this is hard, Fitz. I could pretend that I know how you feel, with how me and YoYo are trying to figure things out, but I don’t. But you need to be patient. If she remembers parts of you, maybe in time she’ll remember more. Not all is lost.”

Fitz nodded again, but he didn’t feel any better. Mack was his friend, and he knew he was only trying to help, but he couldn’t. No one could help him with this.

There was another silence, before Mack continued. “I know you two. When I first met you, I immediately knew that there was history, and that things would not be easy for you. But you fought for each other every step along the way. Whatever the world threw at you to keep you apart, you kept fighting. There’s something real between you two, something that most people could only dream of having. You belong together, and I know you’ll be alright. You’ll figure it out Fitz, don’t lose hope now.”

Another tear rolled down Fitz’s cheek, as he put on a half-hearted smile.

“Thank you, Mack. But I think I need to be alone for now. To… process.”

“I’m there if you need to talk, okay?”

He gave his shoulder one last reassuring squeeze, which Fitz returned. Then Fitz left the room without saying another word.

**Jemma's POV**

She'd just arrived in her room when she heard a knock on the door. She didn't even get the chance to answer, before Daisy walked into the room.

"Hey, I saw you rush into your room. Are you alright? What happ-"

"We kissed!"

She'd just blurted it out, though she didn't know why. Daisy took a moment to process. She was clearly just as confused as Jemma.

"You... kissed?"

Jemma nodded her head slightly.

"Wow... that's... good, right?" Daisy said. "Does that mean you remember?"

She did not know what she was hearing. Even though their kiss had indeed felt safe, and made her remember some things, she could never forget the horrible things that that man had done. That he had done to  _her_.

"How d'you mean 'I remember'? That man is still on the loose in the base! And I _remember_ that he tortured me! Did you know about this?"

Daisy put her hands in the air apologetically. "I'm sorry, Jemma. I thought you knew." She sighed. "Yes, he's still here. He has his own room here in the base, and he works for us. But I can assure you that it's perfectly safe. Fitz's not going to hurt you."

She stepped forwards and pulled Jemma into a hug.

"Are you sure?" She asked quietly. "I'm trying to remember, really, but every time I remember something, it's immediately overshadowed with pain..."

Daisy just shushed her to be quiet. "It's okay. You don't have to prove anything to us. Just take your time..." She pulled back and looked at her thoughtfully. "Nevertheless, this is progress. I get that you're confused, but if you kissed, that must mean that you remember _something_. You're getting better, even if you can't see it right now."

Jemma pulled up her shoulders. "I don't know... It doesn't feel like it. I mostly just remember flashes, and feelings. To be honest... the feelings are the worst. I feel like I should be careful, but those feelings I have keep pushing away any caution. It's dangerous."

"Maybe... But sometimes that's the point. To just take a leap of faith, and do what you feel is right... What does your heart tell you?"

Jemma stayed silent for a while, before she slowly said: "I want to go talk to him. To... figure this out."

Daisy just nodded, and put a careful smile on her face. "I'll show you to his room."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps: I was thinking of also adding in a little scene similar to this, but then with Simmons telling Daisy about what happened from HER perspective. Though I wasn't sure if I wanted to add in both. Please tell me if you'd like to read it, and I'll get to it!


	10. Chapter 10

**_A couple of days later_ **

Fitz was sitting alone in his room, tinkering with something to clear his mind when he heard a knock on the door. He had locked it, since he didn’t want to be disturbed, so he had to walk over to the door to unlock it.

The first thing he saw after he opened the door was a gun pointed at his face.

He flinched, and stumbled back a few steps, with his hands in the air, before he registered who was pointing it at him.

Jemma, with trembling hands, and tears in her eyes.

“Wait, Jemma. Calm down. You’re pointing a gun at me. Why are you pointing a gun at me?”

She followed him into the room, and the door fell shut behind her. She opened he mouth to speak, but remained silent for a while, choosing her words.

“It… It’s just an ICER… And I don’t want to shoot, I- I just want to talk, okay?”

Fitz looked from the gun to her face and back again, as he slowly realised what was going on. He nodded.

“And that gun is just for insurance, isn’t it?”

She didn’t respond, but with the way she looked at him, he knew she said ‘yes’ without using words. Nice to see that some things never changed… Even with everything that had happened, deep inside she was still the same Jemma he knew. And he knew exactly how to read her.

He looked around, scanning the room, until his eyes fell on a roll of duct-tape on his desk. He moved over to get it.

“Stop! Don’t move!” She demanded, with fear filling her voice.

He froze. “Okay! Okay! Just… just calm down. Here…”

He slowly moved his hand to the roll of tape, and picked it up, before tossing it her way. She flinched by the sudden movement, but caught it, looking confused.

He turned around, to face the other direction, and moved his hands behind his back. Hopefully, she’d get the hint, and understand what he was offering her.

It was silent for a while, before he heard footsteps, followed by the ripping sound of the tape. Her hands slowly and carefully wrapped the tape around his wrists, tying them together, so that he couldn’t move them anymore. When she was done, he slowly turned back around. She’d put away the gun.

“Yeah?” He asked carefully. “Will this calm your worries? Look:” He tried to move his hands, to demonstrate that he couldn’t break the tape. “I couldn’t even hurt you if I wanted to. I’m at _your_ mercy now, okay?”

She took a deep breath and nodded. He carefully walked over to the bed and sat down on it. It was a bit uncomfortable, with his hands tied behind his back, but if it calmed her down, that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. She also sat down on the bed, a few feet away from him, out of his reach.

There were a few minutes of silence as they just stared at each other, and Fitz just allowed her to carefully examine him. He had promised himself to not force anything. To just let _her_ do anything she wanted to, or needed to, to feel safe around him. No matter how long that would take.

She deserved that.

**Jemma’s POV**

She carefully looked at the man besides her. She was confused about how easily he’d surrendered to her. Maybe he was still just playing mind-games. Trying to gain her trust to get closer to her again.

But then again, hadn’t he had plenty of unused opportunities for that?

She closed her eyes, thinking about what exactly she wanted. She wasn’t even sure why she’d come here. It was all so confusing: Two complete opposite sets of memories, both of the same man, but one of them involved love, and the other hatred. She didn’t know which were real, and which weren’t.

But then there was their kiss, a couple of days ago. It felt so familiar. Safe. _Trusted_. And for a moment, it had helped her to remember all kinds of feelings that she thought she’d forgotten.

She slowly moved over to him, and pulled up her hand, but she hesitated. It hovered in the air for a moment before she asked: “May I? Please…?”

The man nodded and didn’t move as she slowly moved her hand towards his face, stroking his cheek, and taking in the feeling.

She felt a wave of panic: Flashes of her days of torture popped back into her head, flooding her mind, and something inside of her was screaming for her to run away when she still had the chance.

But then… there was comfort. Vague memories of the times she’d touched his cheek like this before.

She slowly moved her hand, examining him. Taking in the feeling of his stubbles, and his skin, as her eyes lingered on the tiny scar he had on his chin.

She knew how he got it: He had been playing outside once when he was little and fallen down. His mother had patched him back up and given enough ice cream to make him sick. It was one of his nicest childhood memories…

Wait… but how could _she_ know that?

She felt a strange lightness in her heart, though she couldn’t explain where it came from. She took in his eyes, his lips, his curly hair, his scent…

And like their confrontation a couple of days before, suddenly, she couldn’t help but lean in for a kiss.

The sweet gentle touch made her fear melt away again, and she took comfort in the familiar feeling om his lips against hers.

And just like with their last kiss, she suddenly remembered a bit more about the Fitz she knew and lost a bit of fear for the doctor.

**Fitz’s POV**

Another kiss…

He felt her lips melt away in his’, and instinctively tried to wrap his arms around her to pull her closer. But he couldn’t.

Right… the duct-tape.

And that’s when he was pulled back to reality and realised:

She was still scared of him.

He turned his head away from her kiss. She flinched back.

“Sorry…” He said quickly.

He cast his eyes over her. She still looked confused but seemed more determined than she did before.

“Jemma… If you’re so scared of me… then why do you keep kissing me?” He asked quietly.

She shook her head.

“I… I don’t know. It’s strange…” She turned her body sideways and averted his gaze. “Some part of me is just filled with fear. Terrified that you’ll hurt me… But then, another part just longs for contact… My head wants to pull away, but my heart wants to come closer. And I’m just not sure what I should listen to…”

Tears were welling up in her eyes, as she brought her hand to her head. He could see the frustration. He couldn’t even imagine how horrible it must be, to have thoughts, memories, and feeling from which he couldn’t explain where they came from.

“Jemma… it’s okay. Just calm down, take a deep breath, and relax… You don’t have to figure this all out right now. Just take all the time you need. Things will get clear in time, I promise. And I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready. Even if you’ll never be ready, I’m not going to give up on you.”

She turned back around to look at him and brought her hand back to his face.

“Thank you, Fitz…” She gave him a smile. It was a smile with mixed emotions, but he knew it was genuine. She pressed another quick kiss onto his lips before she turned to remove the tape from his wrists.

With his hands now free, he carefully, and slowly stroked her cheek with the back of his hand before he got up. He extended his hand to help her up as well, and she accepted.

She walked away but turned around in the doorway to give him another smile. She didn’t say anything else, and yet, in that silence, she told him more than she could ever do with words.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I think I'm going to wrap this up, so enjoy the last chapter!

**Jemma’s POV**

The next time she saw him, she felt a lot more at ease. Part of her was still terrified, but she remembered more every day.

Fitz had kept his promise and gave her as much time as she needed to recover. But that didn’t mean that they didn’t talk.

Most days, they’d spend in the lab, side by side.

Like they used to…(?)

She still flinched away if he made sudden movements, or approached her from behind, or picked up objects he could use to hurt her. But he quickly seemed to notice that this bothered her, and actively tried to avoid doing things that might upset her.

It was actually kind of sweet, she thought to herself, and her cheeks grew red when she noticed the cheesy way she was smiling at him.

What was she doing? He had hurt her, had she forgotten about that? And now she was enjoying the time they spent together, and laughing at his jokes, like they were old friends.

At night, when she was alone in her room, she’d kick herself for being so weak. Part of her was revolted by the way they were treating each other.

But on sleepless nights, her mind would continuously drift off to him. To how kind, and sweet, and generous he was. To everything he did to make her feel more comfortable, even if it meant a great deal of extra trouble for him.

And he was funny.

Smart…

Kind of attractive too…

With those thoughts in her head, she softly drifted off to sleep, with a smile on her face, and a warm feeling in her heart.

She was falling in love with him all over again.

**Fitz’s POV**

Days turned into weeks, into months, and Fitz could see Simmons slowly change. There was still some slight confusion, since her instincts still made her flinch back from him sometimes, and she needed time to get to know him again. However, she remembered more every day, and the days of torture slowly became but a distant memory.

She was taking slow steps, and it was like they had to start all over again. They hadn’t kissed again since she’d come to his room that time, and barely even touched. Sometimes this frustrated Fitz, but then he hated himself for being so impatient. After all, it was _his_ fault that she was like this. So all he could do now was carefully help her with her recovery.

Simple things.

Like bringing her tea or helping with little things. Telling jokes.

Or just smiling when he noticed she was nervous.

He paid close intention to her behaviour and took a mental note if the saw that a certain thing bothered her. She flinched away when he got too close without her consent.

Okay, so keep distance.

She didn’t like it if he approached from behind.

Taking a different path around her didn’t take up _that_ much time, right?

Or if he was holding sharp objects, she got nervous.

So he’d do this work that required tools like that in his room instead of the lab.

Some things were easy to change for her, others caused him a bit more trouble. But he did everything he could to help her, no matter what sacrifices he had to make himself.

**Jemma’s POV**

They were standing side by side in the lab, in silence. Both completely concentrated on their work.

Kind of.

Every once in a while, Jemma would flick her eyes sideways to look at Fitz. Not because she was afraid of him anymore. She still got nervous around him at times, but now, it wasn’t just because of fear anymore…

She looked at his concentrated expression a he was working. He was quite handsome…

And she could have sworn that she saw his eyes dart away when she looked.

She moved her hand to grab something, but in the exact same moment, he went to grab the thing right next to it. She felt a tingle run down her spine as their hands briefly brushed against each other.

**Fitz’s POV**

As their hands touched each other, he quickly pulled his’ back.

“Sorry!” He said quickly, and he took a small step back for good measure. She wanted distance. And he didn’t want to cross any borders.

But she didn’t freak out like the last time he’d accidentally touched her. Instead, she just looked at him, slightly…

Disappointed?

“That’s okay…” She said quietly, as she turned back to her work. She’d barely touched anything, though, when she turned back around and addressed him.

“You know… I think… You don’t have to…” She sighed, unsure of what to say. Instead of finishing her sentence, she just stepped forwards, and took his hand, before gently guiding it to her cheek.

Fitz wanted to do more. To wrap his arms around her, and pull her against him, but he held back. He just let her set the boundaries, and he wasn’t going to force anything without her explicit consent.

She seemed to notice this, because next she said: “It’s okay, Fitz. I really missed you. I’m not afraid anymore, and you don’t have to be either.”

She stepped closer and leaned in to kiss him.

Fitz felt his heart jump, and the entire world seemed to have disappeared. This was the first real kiss they’d shared since the Framework. Yes, they had shared 2 kisses since then, but those were different. Empty. _Confused_.

This however, was just like what he remembered. No fear, or pain, or sorrow. Just them, sharing a kiss for no other reason than simply because they wanted to.

After the kiss, he was filled with bliss. So much that he’d forgotten the promises he had made to himself to take things easy. Before he’d even realised it, the words had left his lips.

“I love you.”

He tried to swallow it, but he was too late. Maybe she still wasn’t ready for that, and he’d just ruined a wonderful moment. His worries washed away quickly, though, when she heard her voice saying:

“I love you too, Fitz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or requests for what I should write next, please leave those in the comments!
> 
> Ps: I don't know... Re-reading this now, I kind of feel like this ending is a bit rushed. Please give your opinions on this, and maybe I can make it better!


	12. Epilogue

  
**Fitz’s POV**

Months passed, and finally, everything seemed to be just like before. Both Fitz and Simmons were still sometimes troubled by nightmares, but if one of them woke up at night, the other would be there for consolation. Fitz was still a bit hesitant about getting too close to Jemma, afraid that he'd overstep any boundaries. But every time she noticed he was holding back, she just took his hand, as to tell him that it was alright.

Jemma still had some trouble remembering things, which was painfully obvious when Fitz tried to pull her down memory lane. But they eventually gave up the struggle, and instead of focusing on past memories, they decided to focus on making new ones.

 They decided to take a break from S.H.I.E.LD. for a few months, and went on a trip to reconnect.

“Jemma…” Fitz asked her quietly one night. “May I ask you a question?”

He’d been dreading this conversation for a while now, and was waiting for the right moment. Now was probably the last opportunity he was going to get. They’d just had dinner in a lovely restaurant, and had just returned. They would return to S.H.I.E.L.D. the next day, after their time off. If he didn’t do this now, he wouldn’t get the chance again.

She sat up on the couch, and looked at him curiously. She didn’t say anything, so Fitz just continued.

“Why are you still with me? After everything I’ve done to you, how can you-”

But he couldn’t even finish his sentence before she moved forwards and kissed him quiet.

Because that was something they did now.

**Jemma’s POV**

What was he talking about? It had been months since the framework, and they’d decided to put the past to rest.

“Fitz… we talked about this. That wasn’t really _you_. And I’m fine now. I know that I’m not the same I was before, but I really _am_ trying to remember. Though I’d much rather just focus on the future than the past…”

“So you’re really not afraid of me?”

She sighed, before she gently took his hand, and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Fitz, don’t even think about it. I know you. The _real_ you. You’re the man I fell in love with. Twice! You could never hurt me.”

Fitz closed his eyes and nodded, but then he suddenly pulled his hand back and got up.

“Wait, Fitz, where are you going?” Jemma asked, slightly alarmed.

Fitz walked over to a tiny dresser in the corner, and opened the drawer. He took something out, but she couldn’t see what it was, before he put it in his pocket.

He walked back to the couch, and picked up both her hands again. She noticed that he was blinking back tears, but didn’t understand why.

“Jemma…” He begun quietly again. “I know that things have been difficult for you. For the both of us, really. No matter how hard we try, something always seems to tear us apart again-”

She took a deep breath. Was he breaking up with her? Part of her wanted to stand up and leave before he could continue, but she didn’t want to leave him.

“Fitz, please, don’t say that…”

“Well, it’s true, isn’t it? And I still stand by the fact that it feels like the universe is against us. No matter how much I love you, I know that it’s going to be difficult, every step along the way.”

He reached in his pocket again. Jemma just closed her eyes, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. Until she heard the most beautiful word she ever heard.

“But-”

Her heart jumped. So maybe this _wasn’t_ the direction he’d meant for this conversation to go!

“I don’t care about the universe anymore. Let it do whatever it wants. No matter what it’s going to throw at us next, I’ll fight it. I’ll never stop fighting for you.”

She carefully opened her eyes again to look at him.

For a moment, the world seemed to freeze, and she couldn’t breathe.

Because he was sitting there, holding a beautiful ring in his hand.

“Jemma, will you marry me?”

For the first moment, she didn’t process. She was completely taken aback by the question, and couldn’t say anything. So instead, she just smiled, and held out her hand, so that he could slip the ring into her finger. He looked at her questioningly.

“Yes?” He asked.

She nodded before throwing her arms around him.

“Yes!”

A weight was lifted from her heart. She’d been through so much since she’d joined S.H.I.E.L.D., but she never regretted it. Because along the way, she’d met some of the most amazing people in the world. Including Fitz, who’d just proposed!

Yes, it would always be difficult. They would probably never be a normal family. But there’d be amazing adventures up ahead. A lot of danger too, but they’d face that together. Like they always had, and like they always would be.

There was nothing more she could ever wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest: I did not expect it to end this way, but somehow, it just felt right...  
> I hope you enjoyed this! And please, feel free to leave suggestions or reviews in the comments. I don't mind criticism, it only helps me to deliver better content in the future!  
> Goodbye for now! And hopefully I'll see you guys back when I've written more stories!


End file.
